Happy Winter Solstice!
Winter solstice, or Yule, is a time of returning light. While darkness is an essential component on our path, life is all about balance, and that means opening ourselves up to let the light in. We are born as light and love, and we return as light and love. So, today, I want to share a little about my journey of rediscovering the light through healing and becoming an ordained minister.
I have known I had a spiritual gift since I was very young. Reflecting on the lessons passed down to me from my gramma and my mom, I have identified as a hereditary witch for about twenty-five years now, but never thought I would become a minister. First of all, I’m not a church person; I feel much more connected to spirit when I am outdoors. Even more importantly, organized religion has harmed so many people that I never wanted anything to do with it.
But it was with my mom’s passing, in 2016, that the path to ministry began to appear. The grief I experienced after her death brought some of the darkest years I had ever known. That is saying a lot, because as a survivor of childhood abuse and bullying, darkness has always been familiar. As a result, I think I might be more comfortable with the darkness than most folks. It was the light I was terrified of.
In the survivor community, we have a saying that the only way out is through. And the universe knew that I could not fulfill my purpose of helping others through their darkness without a full-on dark night of the soul. So, in 2020, it delivered exactly that. Don’t get me wrong, I had free will and thus, chose this for myself. At age 44, I chose the path of intentional healing, which included body, mind, and spirit. I refused to continue the negative aspects of my ancestral line. I still had too much to do here on Earth, both big things like climb mountains and publish novels, and simpler things like have a home with a couple of rocking chairs on the porch where we can hold hands and laugh and watch the birds. So, that meant I had to heal in order to be healthy enough to make all of those things a reality.
My journey of healing has been downright agonizing at times. Change is uncomfortable, but we must learn to sit in that discomfort. I’m not sure if you are familiar with dark night of the soul, but it is a pretty comprehensive stripping away of all the things that aren’t really you. You lose as much as you gain as you go through the healing process. And at first, it can feel like dying. And in a way, you are; an outdated version of you is dying, and being replaced with something stronger and wiser. You lose notions of what you thought you should be. Once you realize you deserve a community who can see you and celebrate how magical you are, people who no longer align with you fall away. Extraneous, destructive things like guilt, shame, judgment, and excessive anger dispel too.
On the flip side of the painful parts of the journey, it has been powerful and beautiful. I’m grateful for the opportunities and support that have appeared along the way. Classes on intuitive development, mediumship, and ordination have all been invaluable to my journey. But most profoundly of all, I have found a greater connection with others and lessons that appeared through those connections.
In just a couple of weeks, it will be a year since I was ordained, but I needed some time for clarity before I was ready to share. I feel it – we are in an age of unity - like the days when the Pagans and the Christians celebrated together at magical times like Yule. Before the dogma of the church caused separation amongst us. It’s a magical time in which folks are finding connection again and talk about the big things like the soul and healing.
Through healing, I have found a quiet place where I can not only connect to my ancestors, but better understand some of the invaluable secrets of being happy. Being present. As an author and poet, much of what I have to offer in the way of healing comes through my writing. But I am also finding many people coming to me and sharing their stories and their desire to heal. We each have a unique path, which, ultimately, we have to find for ourselves. To heal, you have to quiet the outside noise so you can learn to hear your soul again - then, the path unfolds.
I see themes appearing as people come to me. Not only are trauma, dying, death, and grief some of things that people are sharing with me, but I have been honored to have people reach out to me about healing from religious trauma. They too are being called back to their authentic selves as beings of love and light.
Even the everyday traumas laid upon us by society are numerous, and the truth is, we are all healing from something. Too often, we have been taught that the dark things we are overcoming are not polite to talk about. Although society would like to silence us, I will never stop expressing my truth, and I will continue to support others to express theirs. We are society. It is we who are responsible for changing the truth around us. And I think that it is we who will never be silenced who can help build a brand-new world. I know I'm here to help others learn to listen to their souls again as we enter the age of collective healing.
~ Peace and Love, Tracey
©Tracey Love, 2022. All rights reserved.
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